Free Expert Advice

For the last few years I have studied and shared with others about mentorship in my role as the manager of a career centre at a college. Last summer I was invited to speak about mentorship at a national conference of college and university career centre staff, managers and the corporate human resources professionals that recruit our graduates. My focus, however, has been on “self-directed mentorships” that exist outside of a formal program. I believe we can achieve more for ourselves by finding and managing our own mentorships than we can when we are matched by someone else for the organization's benefit.

One Definition of Mentorship
• a deliberate, conscious, voluntary relationship:
• that may or may not have a specific time limit;
• that occurs between an experienced person (the mentor) and one or more other persons (the partners);
• who are generally not in a direct, hierarchical or supervisory chain-of-command;
• where the outcome of the relationship is expected to benefit all parties in the relationship (albeit at different times) for personal growth, career development, lifestyle enhancement, spiritual fulfillment, goal achievement, and other areas mutually designated by the mentor and partner;
• with benefit to the community within which the mentoring takes place;
• and such activities taking place on a one-to-one, small group, or by electronic or telecommunication means; and
• typically focused on interpersonal support, guidance, mutual exchange, sharing of wisdom, coaching, and role modeling.

KISS (Keeping it Simple for Seekers):

If you want a mentor, you need to determine two things, first:
1-ONE THING-- What is your goal? 2--at least ONE PERSON. What kind of person will get you there? You need to approach someone who is concerned for people and concerned for results. They should have no ulterior motive other than giving back to their community or field of expertise and/or developing their skills as an advisor. After you figure out what your goal really is, look around you. Who has achieved some of their goals and is active in answering questions for others who have similar challenges? Who models success to you?

Identifying a good mentor can be difficult. Asking someone to mentor you can feel even harder.

If your mentor isn’t aware of your goals or expectations of the relationship, you do not have an intentional mentorship.

So the first step in an intentional mentoring relationship is to ask them to help you. Tell them "I would really value your opinion.” Don’t ask for a big time commitment in the beginning. Answering your email, commenting on your blog or your tracker or a single phone conversation is lots to ask for to start with. Get to the point. Ask for what you want. This involves what I call "The Coffee Speech," because, in person, it can be done over coffee, or in an online community it would be sent by private message:
• outline your goal
• ask one or two quick questions
• ask if they would they consider being your mentor or helping you to achieve a goal or solve a problem
• tell them why you selected them
• tell them what you hope to learn
• outline the amount of time to be committed by each of you
• suggest what you will contribute (“I’m really very good at _____. If you ever need _____ give me a call, I’ll be more than happy to help out any way I can.”)

This is what is involved in that if you agree:

• contact frequently, set a schedule and method
• talk about current issues, short and long-term goals
• record the discussions, take notes to each meeting, start a file
• take interest in your mentor as a person
• don’t share your whole life story
• make yourself real and make it light and fun
• at each meeting, agree to an action step
• update your mentor when you’ve completed a step
• say thank you; ask how they’d like to be thanked or how you may contribute

I challenge you to identify a goal and identify at least one person who can help you to achieve it. Manage your own intentional mentorship! While you are at it, be open to mentoring others. Perhaps you can offer help to someone who is too afraid to ask. So while you are asking to have your needs met, why not offer to meet someone else's too. There is free, expert assistance out there for the taking. If we all give and receive, everyone benefits!


...Pam